I'll Love You Longer Than Forever, I'll Love You Longer Than Always
by ClaireBear1982
Summary: James comes home to find Lily baking. But he has bad news for her.


A/N: This is for Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition. Round 13. "Spreading The Love." Pairing: Jily. Love and sadness.

Captain of the Ballycastle Bats.

"Lils, are you home?" hollered James as he entered their flat.

"I'm in the kitchen James," Lily called back.

James walked in to find his six month pregnant wife covered in flour, a huge mixing bowl clamped in her left arm and a wooden spoon clamped in her right. The sight of his wife was far too endearing. James smiled as she licked the mixture off her finger.

"Well hello sweetheart, and what are you doing?" asked James a cocky grin on his face.

"I've had a bad craving for cookies, so I'm making some cookie dough," grinned Lily sheepishly. "But to be honest this cookie dough tastes even better."

"But Lily, that has raw eggs in it!" exclaimed James. "You can't eat it!"

"And how in Merlin's name would you know that?" asked Lily quirking an eyebrow at her husband.

"I read the baby books too Lils!" admitted James with the a rub of his neck.

"You. Read. The. Baby. Books?" Lily asked punctuating every word carefully.

"Yes I did, I wanted to know what to expect. I wanted to know what this pregnancy was going to do to you. To us. What would be safe to eat, drink, you know everything!" said James flailing his arms around as he explained.

Lily stared at James dumbfounded. He was constantly surprising her with his loving thoughtfulness. He'd read the books? Lily felt her heart swell and a smile spread across her face, a smile of pure delight. She put down the bowl and spoon and walked towards her husband and wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him ardently.

"What was that for sweetie?" asked James breathlessly.

"For being so good, and taking part, and being interested," said Lily choking on tears.

"Always. Now you go and settle yourself on the sofa whilst I finish baking these cookies," commanded James with a grin, before Lily really started to cry.

"I think a bath maybe in order actually," groused Lily from the hall. She'd just passed the mirror and caught sight of her floury face. "Why didn't you tell me? No wonder you were smiling like a goon at me!"

Lily stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door. The smile had slid from his face, and been replaced by a grimace. That was the only thing that he was finding hard to handle; Lily's weathervane moods. One minute she'd be smiling, the next crying or berating him for something minor. At times James felt like he was having to tiptoe around Lily and it was wearing on his nerves a bit.

James rolled the cookie dough out and cut it, put it on a baking sheet and put it in the oven. Once that was done James cleaned the kitchen, he didn't want Lily exploding at him again, it was bad enough he had news for her, bad news.

Finally, Lily emerged, looked clean and refreshed. James was stood with his back to the counter top, legs crossed at the ankles and out in front of him, deep in thought. Lily observed her husband momentarily, she knew that face, she knew what that stance meant. Something had happened. Lily took a deep breath and let it go and moved to stand in front of James.

"Feel better sweetheart?" asked James cautiously.

"Lots, sorry for snapping at you," said Lily contritely.

"It's fine Lils, it's all good. I made you tea," said James handing her a cup of the rich brown brew she favoured.

"James..."

"They've gone Lils," James blurted.

Lily felt her heart plummet. Her hands began to shake and she put her tea down before she could spill it.

"Which?" whispered Lily painfully.

"The McKinnons, all of them."

James sprang forward to catch Lily before she could sink to the floor and hurt herself. Tears coursed a path down her face and her body wracked with sobs of grief.

Marlene and Adam, had been twins in the year above them, they'd always looked out for Lily from the first night at Hogwarts. They'd always had her back, especially when the Slytherins had tried to shame her, just because she was Muggleborn.

Lily had taken over Marlene's role of Head Girl once she'd left. She was to be the baby's Godmother, and now she was gone. Just like that, her life light had been snuffed out in an instant.

James sat Lily on his lap, despite her extra weight he was able to cradle his wife, her head against his shoulder as he stroked her hair and made soothing noises.

The baking buzzer suddenly buzzed loudly causing both James and Lily to jump violently. Lily leaned up and smacked the buzzer and switched the oven off, albeit, rather shakily.

"I can't believe their gone! Why? Why?" hiccupped Lily as she dissolved into grief wracked sobs again. "When is this ever going to be over James?"

"I wish I had the answers sweetheart, I wish I could just make this all go away."

They sat together on the kitchen floor like that until it was almost dark. James feeling helpless because he could think of no words of comfort. He wished fervently he could be the one to down Voldemort for all the hurt and pain he was causing, his friends, his family, his world. Suddenly James felt angry, he felt an increasing fury burning through his veins. This would end, and hook or by crook, he'd be the one to end it all.

He was dragged back to the moment by Lily's nails digging in to his chest. James let out a small yelp as a nail pierced his skin.

"Oh Merlin, Oh James, I'm sorry," hiccupped Lily sadly.

"It's okay," said James quietly rubbing the spot with his right hand. "We need to move, my legs gone to sleep."

Lily shifted herself off of James' lap and knelt between his legs whilst James rubbed the life back into his legs. A moment later James was slightly unsteadily back up on his feet, he took Lily's hands and helped her to her feet. James looked into his wife's face. Her eyes looked blurry with tears, as well as extremely puffy from crying. Her face was marked with tears and very pale. James led Lily into the living room and settled her on the sofa.

"I'll go and make you another cup of tea and you can have some of those cookies," James said quietly, sadly.

"Be quick, I don't want to be alone for a moment longer than I have to be."

James bent over and kissed Lily on the forehead and moved to leave the room.

"I love you Lily, I'll love you longer than forever, I'll love you longer than always."

Lily looked at James and saw the love in his eyes, the hazel eyes that were glittering with unshed tears. Lily held her hand out towards James, which he took.

"I love you too James, more than you could ever know," replied Lily, her voice choked with emotion.

James kissed the back of her hand and left the room to make tea.

Once alone in the kitchen, James took a deep breath and slowly released it. Today had been another emotionally draining day. He'd be glad once this was over, he'd be glad to have not to worry about the safety of his wife and unborn child, that the future instead of looking black, it looked bright. James drew a hand down his face and set about making tea and dishing up some of the cookies his Lily had made. He had to think to the future, he had to be better than this, it just had to be.


End file.
